Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
