i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
