Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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