And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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