it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The beer is more important than you right now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
