question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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