i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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