He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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