we made out on top of his cat.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
