even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
