I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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