the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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