I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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