I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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