Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
