Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
