did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I want to make a zoo with you.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
