i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
