This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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