party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
