dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
