you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
