Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
