all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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