I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
