It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
