Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think your dad took our porno
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
