dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
