They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
