I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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