so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
