I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
