So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
