Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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