i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
