Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
