she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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