I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i think i have herpe
just one?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
