My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
