listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
