She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
where am i from again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
