Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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