you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
