Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
