im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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