fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
