Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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