You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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