You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
