She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
