hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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