Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
